Parental Mental Health: It is Important
For as long as I can remember, I have been ill. Around the age of six, I was diagnosed with childhood Lupus. As an adult, I was diagnosed with disease after disease until they finally landed on Rheumatoid Arthritis. So in dealing with the disease and the side effects from the medications (I lost soooo much hair?), I became very anxious and depressed. I thought my anxiety and depression stemmed from my disease (and my hair loss)….. Maybe part of it was the disease but I later found out it was rooted deeper than that.
I hit a low point where I cried almost every day. I loved my family so much but I wanted to hide away from them. I was consistantly sad and exhausted. I snapped at my kids when I normally would not have. I was flipping out over little things and I am usually a mellow person. I couldn’t understand why I was feeling this way. I should have been happy. I had four sweet kids and an awesome, loving husband. Why didn’t I enjoy just being with them anymore?
My family is everything to me! What is my problem?
I realized I was really struggling when I started wishing God would end my life. It wasn’t that I wanted to die but I simply did not want to exist anymore. Until these death wishes started poping in my head, I thought I was somewhat in control of my emotions. I was not!
I started worrying I would become one of those moms in the headlines. The ones where people say, “I don’t understand what happened. She was such a good mom. What would possess her to drive her van full of kids into the ocean?” – Just throwing that example out there…I never actually had that thought. But I did worry depression would cause me to do something terrible. Something unlike me.
I would never want to leave my family or snap at my kids. Where were these thoughts coming from?
This is when I sought help!
My family practitioner prescribed Zoloft along with a referral to a Psychologist and a Psychiatrist. More doctors…YAY…? Despite my lack of enthusiasm, I made an appointment to see a Therapist.
Therapy is not what I expected it to be. I thought I would be wasting my time. Now I look forward to my therapy sessions. My doctor is great and she has helped me to see that my past was the root of my depression and anxiety. Instead of dealing with those heartaches, I boxed them up and put them on a shelf in the back of my mind. Pieces find their way out from time to time and mess with my mood. But with her help, I am learning how to effectively cope with these memories. I am still a work in progress.
I am lucky! I recognized my symptoms and made the decision to seek help. If you suspect you are depressed, I encourage you to seek help. I was afraid (maybe even a little ashamed) to get help for years. Looking back, I wish I would have done something sooner. There were hints of depression here and there throughout my life.
I carry some guilt with me for taking my time in getting help. My kids lost their fun-loving Mama for a little while, which is not what they deserved. I was there in person, but mentally I was somewhere else. We parents are so busy with our families, but we need to think of ourselves too. PARENTS…We are so important to our children! We need to be physically and mentally healthy for ourselves and for them. If you suspect depression, get help!
My advice: DO NOT WAIT.
According to an article on Verywellmind.com :
⚫ Only 1 in 5 people receive treatment consistent with current practice guidelines.
⚫ 6 percent of people with depression are treated with medication only.
⚫ 37 percent of adults with depression receive no treatment at all.
These numbers surprised me.
300 million people around the world have depression, according to the World Health Organization
300 MILLION!!! The United States population is almost 329 million people (as of this moment, of course). Sort of puts it into perspective better, huh?
Honestly, I am not a risk taker so “putting myself out there” scares the heck out of me. BUT- I am taking the risk and publishing my story because I want people to realize they are not alone. Depression is more common than you think and not something that should be taken lightly. My hope is that someone out there is positively affected by my words.
If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide, please call the Suicide Prevention Line at 1-800-273-TALK(8255) or you can start a chat by clicking here.
-Lura
