Sleepless With RA : Rheumatoid Arthritis

It is 1:00 in the morning. I am loafing in my husband’s oversized, beanbag chair wishing I could fall asleep. I have been tossing and turning and trying to settle in for the past 4 hours. Nothing I have tried is helping. My body’s pain is too intense for me to be comfortable enough to lay still and find rest.
I feel as though every joint in my body is screaming out in agony. My hips, back, and neck are crying out the loudest. I am having a major arthritis flare and I am unsure what has caused my body to react this way. I have tried a heated-massage pad, arthritis medication and rubs, light yoga stretches, and even a sleep aid–But here I am, still awake and still in pain, and writing a blog. I thought maybe writing through some of my frustration would help with my situation. Give me something different to concentrate on.
My usual cure for helping combat these flares, is to occupy my mind with something to take focus off of the pain. Creativity is my favorite distraction. I love making crafts! At this hour, it is a struggle to find a quiet project to easily work on in the dark. The kids have school and my husband has to be up for work in less than 4 hours, so I do not want to disturb anyone with my restlessness. No need for my body to also have my family awake at this hour.
There is nothing I can do to change the fact that I have autoimmune disorders. There is no cure for my illnesses. While I have come to terms with this fact, remaining positive has had many challenges. I get mad. I feel as though these diseases, and the fact that I have to deal with them all, is unfair. I have times when sadness takes over and tears fall all on their own. And this is okay. The thing to remember is that this will go away. Not everyday will be miserable and as mightily painful as this one has been. I will have good days…though probably not today considering I will be too tired to properly function. Remaining patient is not easy, but I will try to not let anxiousness get the best of me.
Right now though, I am going to find something on this doggone television to effortlessly follow. I am going to get my mind off of my damned diseases. I am going to eventually get a nap in. And throughout all this BS, I am going to remain hopeful that today will be better when the sun comes up. Because, dammit, what else is there to do…..